Widening the Circle

My Grandpa was a Lutheran minister - more specifically a Missouri Synod Lutheran minister and he thought that they had a corner on the Truth. I had to leave the M.S. Lutherans when I felt a call on my life because they didn't have room for women in the ministry. In my lifetime, I've seen the rigid boundaries around the denominations loosen and an openness to other faith traditions (even, gasp, Catholics). That's been happening for quite some time and I embraced it quite easily. So my Lutheran roots made the transplant to Free Methodist, Presbyterian and now Vineyard soils without much trauma at all. I've embraced the spirituality and contemplativity of Catholicism with a deep sense of wonder and joy. So far so good - I love being ecumenical.

More recently I've discovered spirituality outside of Western Christianity and that has felt less comfortable. I attend an Al Anon group where God is defined as my "Higher Power" and can sometimes be described as the chair I'm sitting on. Wow. That's a far cry from seeing Jesus as the "Way, the Truth and the Life" with no one getting to the Father except through Him. As I wrestle with my faith boundaries I've had to admit that I've experienced God in powerful, healing ways in my 12 step meeting. I've been healed there, I see others get healing and I know that God is very present as we share our pain and brokenness with each other. What makes me really sad is that many of these dear people that I've come to love had to get over what they learned about God in the Church. Many have experienced abuse rather than love at the hands of those who claim Christ as their ultimate authority. No wonder the mainline Church is hemorrhaging and new expressions of faith communities are springing up everywhere. In Jesus' words, we just can't put new wine into old wineskins - and new wine is being produced everywhere!

Most recently I've discovered that deep truth and spirituality can be found in the most amazing places. I love the encounter that Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love) had with God in an Ashram in India. I love reading about Eastern Christianity. I believe that truth seekers can find God in unlikely places. I'm much more open and less judgemental about others' experiences. I hear God through my ipod for crying out loud!

I still believe that Jesus is The Way. I believe that the love He showed the world through his life, death and resurrection is significantly different than all the hoops that man made religions put out for us to jump through (and I include the Christian hoops as well!) He does not ask us to do anything other than trust His love enough to put our weight down on it. That means, for me, that I can't hedge my faith with a big bank account, or a Christian marriage, or a ministry to the homeless. None of those things will save me - only faith in Jesus. Only trust in His love. I have to take the and out of Jesus and...(service, family, church, money, relationships, looks etc..) It's just Jesus - even and maybe especially when He meets us in unlikely places.

So I'm widening the circle. Or rather God has been widening it for me as I've sought Him and His Truth the past 5 years. I've come a long way from my Missouri Synod Lutheran roots and my Grandpa's perspective of the Church. Since Grandpa is now alive with ultimate Truth and Love (and no longer walking in the limits of earthly life) I'm sure he is celebrating my ever widening circle. So embrace Love, wherever you find Him.

The Ipod - A Tool of Spirituality?

God speaks to me in song. Really. Perhaps He uses songs to get past the voices in my head which can be so loud and so contrary to what He is saying; that would be my guess but I KNOW that He's used a number of songs to speak to me.

For example: a couple of years ago I was in a tough situation where I was being manipulated and used. I went to see the movie, "Music and Lyrics" with my daughter, Hannah and one of the songs just jumped out at me. After that, I would hear "Way Back Into Love" in my head at all different times. I knew that I was no longer living from a place of love and that I had to get out. I had to find a "way back into love" because that's where God is. I had to get the abuser out of my head and let God back in. The song spoke to me and I know it was a message from God. So I obeyed, got out and found my way back to hearing God again.

Just recently I went to see the Muppets exhibit at EMP(Experience Music Project) with my friend Melissa. While there I heard the song "Rainbow Connection" as we played with some really fun puppets. I didn't think much of it at the time, but later felt compelled to look up the song. I even made my kids crazy as I played it on my laptop over and over. The whole song didn't speak to me but the following lines did:
"Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name!"
as well as:
"Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me."

I HAVE heard His Voice and that week I really needed to be reminded of it. And that He calls out to me. And that I'm one of the lovers and dreamers. And God likes that about me.

Most recently I received a special gift of song from my friend, Cari. It was the song "Hallelujah" by Bethany Dillon. That whole song spoke to me but especially the line "and only You can see the good in broken things." It spoke to my brokenness. And the brokenness I've seen in Africa. And the brokenness I see in the severely disabled, thrown away kids at Fircrest. And the brokenness I feel more than see in high school kids. The brokenness that is crying out all around us if we'd just stop and listen. It makes me weep. It makes me want to do something.
It reminds me that God sees all the brokenness and He's looking for willing servants who are surrendered to Him. I have surrendered...I'm waiting and trusting on His leading. Only He can see and do something about all this brokenness.

So my advice is this; if you have trouble hearing God because the voices in your head are too loud, put your ipod on shuffle and be open to what God might be saying to you. Not every song speaks to me but it's amazing how many do. Especially the love songs - when heard as songs of love from God...well they are incredibly healing. One song that keeps coming up and I think there might be a message for me in it is "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds." I don't get that song and I really don't know what it means - any ideas? Please let me know. Maybe I'll go listen to it again.