Biking

Lately I've been doing a lot of biking - and finding cool trails/paths all over the place. I fill up my aluminum canteen with water, slather on the sunscreen, grab my ipod, jam on my helmet and off I go. I love the interurban trail and can make it to Lynnwood from my house in less than 40 minutes. And it's a blast. Now I'm trying to find a way on trails to get to my Al-Anon meeting in Ballard (and I've almost got it figured out!)

A couple of weeks ago I was struck by an analogy while riding and wanted to write it down. This is it: while I love coasting down the hills going scarily fast, it's only when I'm pumping the wheels and climbing hills that I actually get stronger. Hills may not be my favorite part of the ride but they sure burn the calories and, more importantly, help build my muscles (well technically the muscles are torn but then they rebuild bigger and stronger.) So I actually relish it when I see a hill coming and I have to gear down and face it head on. I feel so strong and full of life in the midst of a hill (here I must confess that I haven't tried to tackle Queen Anne so that may be a bit too much for me at this point.)

In case the analogy isn't completely obvious to anyone but me it's this: that it's in the times of challenge when we grow. It's in the painful times of life that I lean more deeply into Christ and uncover where my heart is really resting and trusting. I learned this 9 years ago when my brother died from pancreatic cancer. In my grief, I felt as if a curtain between this world and the next was ripped in two and I experienced the love of God in new and shockingly real ways. I discovered clarity in what was important and a new ability to marginalize what was not. I wish I could say that I've hung onto that clarity but I'm afraid that the pull to status quo was just too strong. I went back to my old habit of looking for approval from almost everyone around me.

Lately, by God's grace and mercy, I've discovered a new awareness of His love for me. It's come gradually over the past 2 1/2 years - ever since March 31, 2007 when I surrendered to His will. I did so in response to a sermon by Bryan Burton where he said "we struggle because we do not want to surrender." At that point in my life I was really tired of the struggle and so I surrendered. With this surrender has come new revelations, new opportunities for growth, and the removal of several layers of denial. It's been an amazing journey and I know I'm not through with it yet. Not by a long shot. The delightful part of this path has been a deepening experience of God's love. Every day He speaks a new message of love and is helping me to let go of all the defenses I've built up. It's been exhilerating and I know that the best is yet to come. It's like seeing a hill coming and knowing that the good it will do me is worth the stress and strain. All this talk of bike riding has me longing for a nice ride before the sun sets. And I won't be avoiding the hills.