Bear comes to Seattle

Sometimes, oftentimes, I'm amazed at the creativity of God. His unending capacity to meet us and minister to us in unexpected ways. That was brought home to me in a truly unique way last week.

Before I tell the story, I have to give some background information. When I was about 6 or 7 we were on a trip back from the Midwest and stopped to have lunch in a Montana state park. It was way off the beaten path and totally deserted except for us....and, apparently, bears. The evidence of bears was everywhere - bear scat, scratch marks, hair; it was a little unnerving to say the least! In this setting my brother Neal decided to tell me a "true story" about two little girls who surprised a mother grizzly when they ran out of a bathroom in Yellowstone. I remember his telling of the story vividly - right down to the gory detail of the rescue party finding the ear of one of the little girls as they chased after the bear. Remember, I was only 7 when I heard this story and to this day I can picture that park and the park I envisioned as my brother wove his captivating tale. I have been deathly afraid of bears ever since. I spent a summer hiking in the North Cascades and every night I'd wake up in terror, listening to the sounds of nature and repeat over and over, "it's not a bear, it's just little critters or deer licking the salt off my pack. It's not a bear, it's not a bear." My biggest fear, while living in Alaska, was that I'd encounter a bear and my fear would overcome my motherly instincts and I run off and leave my kids. So it really has been a deep seated fear (and let's not forget, bears are scary!)

So back to my story. It was Tuesday morning and I came across an email from the high school alerting us to sighting of a bear in Hamlin woods - the very place I walk my dog every day. A bear. In my woods. Then I got a text from Bekah who'd heard the announcement at school and wanted to warn me to be careful. I sat with this information for a few moments and then felt compelled to go for our usual walk. Not just desirous but compelled. I had papers to drop off at the high school and the easiest way to get there is through the woods - so I decided to face my fears and go through the woods. I wasn't really scared which, for me, is a minor miracle right there. I just had this sense that I was doing what I was supposed to do - no matter the consequences. I was not going to live in fear.

I got to the woods and they were fairly deserted - a couple of other dog owners were there and I gave them a heads up before I turned into the woods. I stuck to main trails and felt pretty safe. After dropping off the papers, I headed back into the woods and this time I threw all caution to the wind. I took some "off the beaten path" trails where I could be fairly certain to be alone and enjoy the incredible beauty of this wonderful park. I was so unafraid that it amazed me. I was thoroughly enjoying my walk when I came up a steep hill, turned the corner and noticed a TV cameraman had his camera trained on us. I quickly leashed up Bentley (I always do this when around others) and then continued walking down the path. As soon as I could see I was no longer being filmed, I begged him to not show me with my dog offleash (which is a big ticket if you get caught.) He told me that he'd been filming us when we were skirting the bottom of the hill but promised not to show that part if I'd let them interview me. He asked if I knew about the bear and why I was walking even with that knowledge. When I told him I didn't want to live in fear (and boy was that ever true in this case) he wanted to get that on tape.

So I was interviewed by KIRO and most of it made it on the noon news. I thought he said KING so I was watching the wrong station when it came on. The ones who did see it were my parents in Wenatchee - were they ever surprised! A little bit was shown at 5 and little clips of me were shown even the next morning. Weird.

Here were my take aways from this experience:
1. God is in every experience and whatever happens is in His Hands - I do not need to fear.

2. It feels good to face your fears and you never know what adventure may come out of it.

3. I do not like how I look on TV - those extra pounds the camera adds on are not flattering!

4. I like the limelight too much - somehow my ego is still wrapped up in what others think of me. I continue to trust God to change me in this area and believe that He is taking me to a place of belovedness in Him alone (but I'm not there yet.)

5. Maybe I'll write a children's book about "bear in the city." Now if I could just find a good illustrator....

Face your fears. It feels really wonderful.