Chap Clark

Last night Hallack and I attended a gathering of adults who care about teenagers and listened to Chap Clark give us a heads up on the adolescents of today. My head is swimming and I'm trying to process all that I learned. Chap is on the faculty at Fuller Seminary in Pasadena and wrote his doctoral dissertation on youth in todays culture. To do so, he spent a year at a high school and immersed himself in their lives. Much of what he discovered and also information from other sources has been included in a book called Hurt. I would have to say that accurately describes my heart as I listened to the culture that our teens are trying to survive. It's not like when we were teenagers, it's much, much more difficult. I am very involved in the lives of our kids and their friends and Ive seen some of what he articulated for us, but not all of it. Not nearly all of it. I realized that I have been viewing their experiences through the lens of my high school days - 32 years ago!

So how was my high school experience? I have to admit that I tend to think of those being my glory years but if I'm really honest they were some of the most driven days of my life. I was doing everything in my power to be recognized. And I was - but it was short lived. After I graduated I ended up at a community college while most of my friends went off to prestigious universities. I was so lonely and felt so lost - where was my identity now? God graciously intervened in my life and I encountered Him in new and unexpected ways...but that's another story. I'm grateful now for the lessons I learned during those two years but it was a long way to fall for a big fish from a small pond. Like I said, that was 32 years ago.

Todays teenagers have even more pressure to succeed and less support than we did. They struggle to find their place through "performance, conformity and image." They are growing up in a world that is changing rapidly (what used to take 100 years to develop was compacted to 10 years, then to 1 and now it's even faster than that.) The economic crises, environmental catastrophes, population explosion, wars and genocides are overwhelming for mature adults - how does the future look for teenagers? Not so good. And all the time we're telling them to make their mark. No wonder my oldest, achievement-oriented daughter says that she doesn't want to grow up. Who can blame her?

After spending some time this morning, grieving and repenting of the ways I've contributed to my kids pressure to perform, conform and have a pleasing image, I came to a place of grace. I came to a place of gratitude. I surrendered them, once again, to my Heavenly Father who knows and loves them better than I can even begin to fathom. I reviewed all the ways that He has been with them, called out to them, loved them and intervened in their lives. I have failed them many times but He has not. I also know that my choice to invest in their lives has not been in vain. They know how important they are to me - how deeply they are loved by both their parents. I came back to my favorite proverb -10:12b "love covers over all wrongs."