An email to my brother, Greg:
Thanks for checking in with me...life has been pretty tough these days and
I'm realizing how much I need to have regular breaks. Thankfully, Bekah is home
for the next four months and she'll be a great help to me in so many ways. I
don't have her clean up Mom's messes or handle the bathroom at all but it's
really good to be able to walk the dogs, go for a bike ride or run to the
grocery store. I've gotten pretty depressed the past month or so with Mom's
decline and my isolation so I really need to build myself up and not get to this
place again. The respite care has been harder to arrange than I thought but I
now have a really nice woman from Nepal who comes for 6 hours on Thursdays.
She's been for the last 3 weeks and that has been a huge relief. She seems to
handle Mom really well - even her psychotic episodes.
Mom is less and less connected with reality. I took Dad to church this
morning and afterwards we went in to check on Mom (she was still in bed.) She
told me she was really exhausted from taking a shower (yeah, right) and then she
asked Dad if he was overwhelmed with the thought of a new baby at their age.
She often has a baby in bed with her....ah well. Dad handles it really well but
it's taking it's toll on him too. At least we haven't had the really crazy
episodes where she tries to rip her clothes or grinds her teeth or even tries
to bite me! Sad to see her so not like herself...I don't want to be like this
for my kids. When I'm well rested and taking care of myself, it's all good but
I've let myself get run down. I have plans to pull myself together this
summer. Gotta plan a vacation sometime soon!
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