Getting Out!

The snow finally melted enough on Saturday that I had big plans to get Mom and Dad out for the evening to a Jazz Concert that Ben was playing in. He told me that he had an improv solo in it and I was so excited to hear him. We geared for it all day and I thought that I had made it clear to Mom what the plan was. In the afternoon I gave her a shower and got her dressed with plenty of time so that she could rest and be prepared to go out. After serving dinner, I started to outline the plan for leaving and that's when she came unglued. And I mean unglued. She absolutely put her foot down and said there was no way she could go out. It was too dangerous, it was too scary, it was too.....much. At this point I have to be honest and say that I was mad. After eight days of being cooped up in the house I could tell how badly Dad needed to get out. So I challenged her and tried to convince her that I'd made sure it was safe but she really dug in her heels. Hallack had already left to get Ben there early so I texted him to say that we wouldn't be coming. He knew how much I wanted to go so immediately offered to come home and stay with them. I was really torn - wanting to have a good outing for all of us, frustrated that Mom had derailed our plans, trying to hear her fears in the midst of the drama and also mad. I know myself well enough to know that it doesn't help me in dealing with her to speak in anger. I have to be the adult. So I called Gail for an outlet and quickly filled her in on the situation. Together we decided that the best plan was to leave her at home with Hallack so that Dad and I could still get out.

Dad and I enjoyed the concert and the ability to get out. The next day I was able to get them to church (although that was a challenge as well) and yesterday I finally got Dad to the pool. The joy on his face as he swam was worth every bit of energy it took to get them out of the house for a third day in a row. The pool was everything I had hoped it would be: warm, a gentle ramp entrance, clean with great family changing rooms where I could keep an eye on him. To see him getting exercise without pain was sheer delight. Mom and I sat near the pool and she agitated about him but had to agree with how much he was enjoying it. I tried to keep him from overdoing it but that is easier said than done. He wanted to stop at McDonalds on the way home so we got to use the two-fer-one coupon I'd cut out of the paper last week. They both were tired last night but it was a good tired and as I kissed Dad goodnight he thanked me for a really good day. The look on his face is the motivation I need to continue to get them out. Today we go to visit Northshore Senior Center and I'm hopeful that will be a place for them to enjoy life. Time to go get Mom up, once again.