Barbarians

God has called us all to be barbarians. I believed that when I was younger but somehow the responsibilities of marriage, family and serving churches buried that passion. In a word, I became civilized. I feel as if I'm waking up from a long seduction and am remembering my call: to follow Jesus no matter what the cost.


While flying home from Africa I sat next to a pastor of pastors. Benjamin and I had a nice long chat about his ministry to 13 different pastors in widely different parts of the world and how we see the church changing. He encouraged me to read The Barbarian Way by Erin McManus which I'm in the middle of it right now. He was right - it has awakened me; not to new ideas but rather to the call I first experienced. I've been praying for several years to fall more deeply in love with Jesus and this book is another step in the journey toward realizing my prayer. It is both exciting and terrifying to once again say "Lord my life is no longer mine - it belongs to You. Do with it as You see fit."


What does a barbarian life look like? Well, it's not safe, that's for sure. Just like Mrs. Beaver says about Aslan - He's good but He's not safe! And I think I've been playing it safe for quite a while now. As a mom, I really want to keep my kids safe - this is a dangerous world and it's all about keeping them safe. I read a thought provoking article about the impact that Adam Walsh's murder has had on our nation. The good and the bad. An article in the Times states the following: "for example, when Adam Walsh disappeared, there were databases on stolen cars, stolen guns and just about everything but abducted children. Efforts today include placing missing children's faces on milk cartons, every state participating in fingerprinting programs, and schools and stores have increased security. There is a national center, database and toll-free line devoted to missing children." I think we'd all agree that these changes are valuable and yet they've come with a high cost: terrified parents and children. We are all too aware of the dangers out there and have made safety a top priority. We've built bigger walls and have instilled "stranger danger" into our little ones. We've created an "us and them" mentality that leads to more fear and less community. I'm no longer satisfied with this mindset.

Being a barbarian means that I give up the expectation that God will keep my kids safe. He may not and I have to trust that He knows what's best for them ultimately & eternally. I'd rather not outlive my children but if their future means walking away from their Savior... well, that would be a fate worse than death. I'd rather my children experience life abundantly than safely. I'd rather they follow Jesus and trust in His loving guidance - even when doing so leads them through the "valley of the shadow of death". I'd rather they "fear no evil" than shield them from it. I'd rather have them be barbarians. Even if it terrifies me.