It's Not About Safe

Mom had a fall in the bathroom early Monday morning. I was sound asleep and so was Dad but thankfully Hallack heard it. She decided to rush off without her walker in order to make it on time and then fell while heading to the sink. The concern for making it on time is very much in the forefront of her thoughts even though she's usually already urinated (thank God for Depends!) I can't seem to ease her mind that she's well protected. We had a doctor's appointment that day so, after checking her out, I put her back in bed. There were no broken bones or even much soreness - thank You Father!

Since Dad has fallen out of bed a couple of times (including just this morning) I've been tempted to think that they're not safe enough with me. On Tuesday morning God gave me the great gift of Staci showing up on her way to work. Coffee in hand and prayer on her mind she joined me (in my pjs) and we had 20 wonderful minutes of sharing and praying together. When I told her my concerns about this not being safe enough, her words from the Lord to me were this "it's not about safe." She went on to say that of course they'd be more safe in nursing home but they wouldn't have life. They are more safe with me than they were at Aegis so the only other alternative is skilled nursing. Where they couldn't sleep in their own bed and would be at the mercy of caregivers that are strangers - not their daughter who loves them and wants them to end well. What a helpful reminder that even though they are "under my thumb ":0), at least it's my thumb and not a poorly paid hourly worker who probably wouldn't understand why Mom can be so self-absorbed. Someone who probably isn't interested in learning patience and sweetness of spirit and getting lots of practice with her! Someone who doesn't know her love of God and could pray with her when she gets scared or angry or depressed. I have the privilege of attempting to be that person for her and to smooth the rough edges so that Dad can still be with her. And so they can still snuggle in bed together. Which they like to do in the mornings and I encourage. And I get time to reflect and write and pray before we're off and running with another day. I hear Dad so it's time for breakfast. I'm off and running (well more like walking :0)